Revelations in front of Talos
by LadyIunara
Summary: Senja had thought it was easy to move on from Ulfric Stormcloak. Helgen threw them together as they fled through Imperial Holds back to Windhelm. She owed him her life as did he. Neither knew though who he was and what her heritage was precisely. But lies have a habit of coming out, no matter how much one wants them to stay undetected.


**AN: This is a warm up fic. My main one is still in the works (like 3/4 there). Just had a few bad months. University deadlines, my pet was murdered, nasty break up. Hence needing a warm up and frankly some exercise. Please point out any errors, plot holes and just tell me what you think about this piece. Thank you :)**

 **Also, here the OC Senja can be regarded as dragonborn or not. It would not impact this either way. Really up to you.**

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Somehow she got the feeling that only full blooded Nords could ever really appreciate the cold beauty of a Skyrim winter. Snowflakes had fallen on her nose already, some just glided past, drawing her attention away from the Talos statue. There will probably a snowstorm in the next hour. She should go home, be safe inside the city walls. Her thick fur cloak did little to shield her from the biting cold. Sometimes she wished her mother's heritage had shone through in that regard, but alas, she had more of her father's affinity to magic. A curse. As much as she loved her father deeply, a mage volunteering the Stormcloaks had only been met with curses and spats. At least, she thought bitterly, she hadn't gotten most the elven looks from her father. Almost instinctively her hand twitched to make sure her braids were secure over her own ears, but they stayed securely around the bundle against her chest.

Maybe she should make the journey to her parents again. It had been a year since she had last seen them. In the first two years of the war, she had always managed to visit them. Her father's favourite one was the Witches festival, for her mother it was the Warrior's festival. She had not gone last year. Her shame had been too great and then it had been impossible. Her parent's letter was still on her bed, waiting to be read. She had written to them two months before the birth and ever since they had kept in contact. The harsh winters making it impossible to journey far.

Today was the Talos celebration. He must be at the feast still, celebrating his near victory over the Empire. Winter flowers, their lovely blue and bright purple hues lending more life to the walls, had been hung from strings high between the houses for the last couple of days. The streets were more alive, the spirits were higher. A huge table had been set up in the castle's courtyard. Jarls from all allied holds were there. Everyone else had been celebrating since the morning hours. She had watched Ulfric from afar, hoping he'd acknowledge her. But he never seemed to see her when his eyes roamed over the crowds on the other tables.

A soft squirm in her arms, made her look down onto the downy head of her daughter. The blonde hair was definitely not from her, but the ears… those were from her.

"What's wrong, little one?" She murmured, tightening her cloak more around Etheana. Her still baby blue eyes blinked up to her. Seemed like she just woke up and was admiring her surroundings. A smile tugged on her lips.

"I know, I know. The world is fascinating," Senja babbled to her babe, as if she understood her already. Stepping forward and closer to the statue, she kneeled down before the shrine, shifting Etheana onto one arm. Tentatively she stretched out an arm to touch the shrine. Hopefully Talos was merciful on those with elven heritage. Any blessing was welcome at this point. The other shrines in the city temple were all crowded and she didn't need more attention that she already had with the pregnancy. Maybe a blessing of Talos would protect Etheana. Who knew, she had honoured Auriel more alongside with her father. But Talos was her mother's and Etheana's father's god.

Nurelion had been kind enough to employ her and even provide her with a room. "I owe it to your father," he had grumbled when she explained who she was when asking for a way to earn her keep. The only condition was that he kept up with his apprentice Quintus who lived in a room opposite hers. It worked, really did. But she missed stretching her magicka thin, being in the midst of battle against bandits. In the end, she was given the task to magically repair flasks, enhance heat with her own flames, or rapid cooling with her frost spells. It served its purpose, in the evenings she was too tired to even think about her former life.

At least her former comrades still visited her. Like today. Practically melted over Etheana. Grown Nords becoming docile in the presence of a newborn, she had to chuckle at the memory.

"Who is the father, Senja?" Gunjar Iron-tooth had asked, making her flinch. The others only exchanged a look and dropped the topic and talked what they had been up to ever since before she had to leave on the orders of the healer. Somehow she had a feeling they knew who it was. After all it was no secret with whom Ulfric escaped Helgen with and evaded imperial patrols and troops for weeks through Imperial held holds. At least no secret to them, she told them everything. _Nearly everything_. She had briefly gone with them to the tables where the festival was held. Etheana had been content in her lap eyeing the new and to her foreign objects.

Towards afternoon Ulfric had sat down with the other Jarls at the far end table, close to the castle doors.

Sometimes she thought she felt eyes on her back. But when she looked up, he was so deep in conversation with the Jarl of Riften, he could not have watched her.

Here she was now, relatively alone, except the occasional guard coming across her nodding in greeting.

A tingling feeling went through her arm as she touched the shrine. Pleasant really. Shuffling forward, she withdrew a Talos amulet from beneath her robes and placed it inside the wrapped cloth around Etheana.

" _It has been with me during hard times, may it lend you strength during your times of trouble."_

Clenching her fist, she sunk her head. How stupid had she been to believe his lies….

"Here you are," a deep voice suddenly said from behind her. Her head jolted up. She knew that voice, Ulfric was here. Her stomach sank and her throat squeezed uncomfortably. Oh no no, please not him. By Auriel, he cannot know!

"Milord," she said hastily, slowly getting up letting her cloak fall close around her chest effectively barring his view on Etheana. Please, by all the divines, do not cry now. He deigned her with a small smile, his gaze settling on the Talos statue. More snowflakes danced in the sky. Shuffling her feet, she clenched her jaw. Why was he here? Maybe she could evade him this time. But he seemed to sense her intentions. Hopefully, she could talk her way out of this without him noticing.

"I always come here when I need to clear my head," she frowned at the meaningless statement.

"Milord?" He sighed.

"I owe you my life, Senja, you know you can call me Ulfric."

"Yes, I remember." She could feel his gaze boring into hers and she unconsciously tightened her hold around Etheana. Who decidedly did not like the tighter hold. At first she only squirmed and then let out a piercing wail.

Oh no… His face fell and looked straight at the moving part her cloak was concealing. Stepping backwards, she tried to create more space between them. Not that it would help, she would have to run straight past him, jumping off the ridge was impossible with Etheana.

"I see you had a babe," it was a statement, delivered in a stone-cold tone. Oh gods, how could she even begin to explain? His face darkened, now she saw why men feared him so much.

"I did." No need to deny it any longer. She rocked Etheana gently hoping she'd settle again. Her eyes never leaving the storm that was brewing just in front of her. If he was going to do one wrong move, she could try…

"Is that why you never answered my summons?" She bit her lips in answer, Etheana's wails quieting down a bit. His summons, more an order to be in his court. Why did he think she'd answer? After all the lies… did he really think she'd come dancing back into his arms?!

"Mi… Ulfric, please…" she started, maybe using his name will make him more amiable to her, but was cut off with a glare of steel.

"I do not want excuses, I want to know why." His voice echoed. Was this a small taste of his Thu'um? The hair on her neck stood up.

Her shoulders sank. Might as well amputate the rotten limb now. Slowly she lifted the cloak away from Etheana who still was red from crying in her face. Then she stepped forward so he could see her face.

"She is five months old now." He went silent, she knew he was calculating. Fourteen months ago they escaped Helgen together and… well _other things_. Rocking Etheana slightly to calm her down, she kept her eyes on Ulfric who had practically frozen on the spot, his eyes glued to the babe. Suddenly her gut dropped, fear seizing her. Two steps backwards and she practically was against the shrine with the heels of her feet.

"And you kept her from me?" She did not think his voice could go lower nor that his face could get any darker from anger. Shit, he was furious. Almost instinctively, she pressed her babe closer to her chest, deeper into the folds of her cloak. Out of view. His jaw clenched at the reaction.

"Yes, you had a war to win," she cringed at how accusing she sounded. Quite frankly, when she found out he had been in Whiterun Hold conquering the city and only returned when the babe was already born. A bastard. No King needed a bastard.

"You were in Whiterun when she was born. A bastard would make you and her vulnerable to the Thalmor… I," she choked a bit before continuing, "could not subject her to that."

His face softened, his fists at his side clenched however. _Flee_ , her mind screamed.

"You thought I couldn't protect you, her?" He made a step forward, boots crunching in the snow. Now she had to push him over to get away. Maybe she could pull it off, but for how long? He would catch up with her soon after most likely.

"The less people knew, the safer she'd be."

"Who then knows?"

"I, now you and… my comrades suspect." He kept his gaze on her and made another step. She swallowed hard.

"Please, Ulfric. Don't take her…"

"I won't try to," then after a moment's pause where he stared at the bundle, "I wish to hold her."

She tensed up. He could easily take her away if she allowed him. But then he looked so sincere.

"Trust me," he said softly, his hands stretched out. His palms facing her. An offering of peace.

"By Auriel," she muttered under her breath and then looked at the face of Etheana, who had stopped squirming in discomfort. One time, no one was here anyways. No Thalmor was that stupid to venture so deep into Stormcloak territory. Right?

Taking in a deep breath, she looked back to him. He looked pained under the calm façade. Shifting her hands, so that one hand was at the head and the other at the bottom, she closed the distance and passed Etheana to her father who as soon as she was settled securely in his arm seemed to forget everything around them. His face shone in open admiration. Worriedly she looked back up, but the wind didn't seem to pick up.

"She has my hair," he whispered, gently stroking the downy blonde hair. Then his large finger gently tapped her nose.

"Your nose," he smiled at her which she returned, though strained. He shifted the cloth at her head. She leapt to rip her from his arms. He knew nothing of her elven heritage! But it was too late and she crumpled to the ground as his face twisted in horror.

"How?" was all he asked, something powerful echoing in it. Tears started to blur her vision.

"You are an elf?" Disdain dripped from his now lethal tone.

"No, yes…" He only frowned at her. Disgusted.

"My father is an elf, my mother is a Nord," with trembling fingers she unravelled her braid, her pointy ears now in full view. He swallowed. Tears were rolling down her face now. She must give the picture of a pathetic elf. He looked down to Etheana again, his jaw set.

"She's more Nord than elf then." It sounded cautious.

"Does it matter that much to you?" She grabbed his cloak, as if to prevent him from leaving.

"Yes, I lay with a half elf," he spat out; she fixed her eyes on Etheana. Contrast to his harsh tone, he still held her gently.

"Give her back," she breathed out. Her other hand reached up only reaching his wrist, her fur gloves tugging at the cloth Etheana was wrapped in.

"No, you will run away with her if you do."

"You can't protect us, you will condemn us!" she nearly shrieked, now hitting his upper thigh.

"You do not know that," he growled, now bending down to be at her eye level, his free hand gripping her shoulder tightly. She winced at the hard grip. There will be a bruise the coming days.

"Listen to me," she ignored him, flinging her arms to Etheana, trying to ease her out of his grip. Tears blinding her.

He pushed her back. Shoved her with his right hand on her chest. She fell onto her back, all breath leaving her lungs. There she lay, the grey sky above her, snow falling onto her face. Panting, trying to draw air into her lungs. Rolling to her side, she sat up only to come face to face with him.

"Please…" she tried again, but his glare shut her up.

"I can claim her as my own. She will be protected."

"Not everyone will accept that." He sighed at that.

"Galmar knows what happened between us. Her age makes it possible and you have been under his supervision ever since," she opened her mouth. How had he then missed her pregnancy?

"During the Whiterun campaign you were no priority, I would have known in a few days anyway once I had returned and the festival over with."

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. He would have found out regardless.

"Why are you here?" He seemed genuinely curious.

"I wished for her to be blessed by Talos," she explained, standing up again. His face softened, as he looked to the shrine.

"Did she receive it?"

"Yes, I believe so."

The left corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

"Good, favoured by Talos. A good sign," he stroked Etheana's cheek. Her wide eyes taking him in. A new face, she was curious.

"Hello, I am your papa," Ulfric muttered to her his attention fully on her again.

"What's her name?" He asked softly, a large grin on his face as Etheana cooed at him.

"Etheana."

"A good Nord name."

"Ulfric, I…" Senja tried for words and it failed. But she had his attention again.

"What is it?"

She drew in a big breath, "You cannot claim her. Think about us, please. We are partly elven! It will undermine everything you fought for!" Her voice broke into a near shriek in the end. His face darkened at the mention of her elven heritage.

Stepping forward until she could practically count the hairs in his fur cloak, she continued her tone wavering. Making her wince slightly, how pathetic she must sound.

"Please, Ulfric. This is not about us anymore. She is more important now. If I can guarantee her safety by keeping her away from you, I will."

This time his eyes snapped to hers, they were hard with determination. For what? She had no idea, he had always been unreadable. But this she knew, he wished to argue with her. He would not make her back down! Meeting his stare head on, she felt so small, he practically towered over her. Lifting her chin up in defiance, she refused to look away first. This was for Etheana's safety for Auriel's sake! If he could just see this!

"Senja, don't you think that the Thalmor will deduce her parentage by simply listening to the rumours and accounts of how we escaped Helgen?" She flinched. No one had spoken to her about it, nor did she hear any of those rumours.

"Rumours?"

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"I see Galmar was good at making sure those rumours were silenced," he said roughly, adjusting his arms around Etheana slightly.

"Then they have nothing to go on," she deadpanned.

"Yes after an imperial spy fled the city," he levelled her with an ice cold glare. Her breath was suddenly gone, her fingers flew instinctively to her throat fingering for air.

"I…"

"Senja, the spy was captured in Nightgate Inn. He specifically had intelligence on you and he drew the connection between me and Etheana."

Her heart stopped, then sputtered back into life.

"Then…" no she could not voice what that all meant.

"But you said the spy was captured," she said weakly, her voice barely carrying over to Ulfric. Tears were prickling again in her eyes.

"Yes, but his contact was already gone," Ulfric explained softly, his eyes for once pleading with her. For what she did not know. Her knees wobbled and she stumbled towards him. He caught her elbow with one hand, steadying her. Then withdrew his hand almost immediately, as if he had burned himself touching her.

"I presume you know you are in danger now?" He continued to argue smoothly. Her hands started to shake at the implications. Imperial spy… The enemy had a weakness of his, both her and Etheana in danger.

"Why did you act so surprised when you saw her?"

"I wanted to see if you could be honest with me." She avoided his gaze this time around. He knew as much as she did that if he had not sought her out, she'd never have told him.

"Milord, how do you wish to protect me?" His face darkened in anger at the use of 'milord' making her flinch.

"You will become a Thane, with a housecarl for your bravery during Helgen. That will secure you lodging in the palace," he answered cautiously and then with a sneer.

"Your heritage is… regrettable," her eyes narrowed. How dare he say that who her father was something to be ashamed about.

"If you weren't half elven, we could have married." She knew why they couldn't.

"I…milord, I need to think about this."

"Then I will command you as your Jarl." She snapped her mouth shut at the response. It left zero room for any argument. And… she gritted her teeth in anger, he was right. He was her jarl and she had to obey. She looked back to Etheana.

"When will we move to you?" She asked after a long sigh of defeat. He looked down, a finger stroking the cheek of their babe.

"Now." Her mouth fell open. Now?! During the festival? Was he mad?

"Ulfric…," she started before being cut off.

"I was kept from her too long," he muttered darkly.

"Why would you care about her?" She demanded to know. If he regarded her with such disdain for her elven parentage, then why was he so adamant on being in Etheana's life. Her gut practically sank to the ground as Ulfric fixed her with a furious glare.

"You said yourself that it is regrettable that I am half elven, how can you say that and then dare to pretend to care to my face?!" She spat the accusation, watching with glee as his furious glare slipped into one of guilt and then back to fury.

"She is still my blood," he gritted out slowly while she took a step towards him. If it came to blows, she would rip Etheana out of his arms and run. To where she had no idea. Just… this was just rich coming from him. He who condemned elves, how had she been so blind to realise that the man was just fanning the flames between men and mer.

"And that matters to you now?" She had to ask, he was lying that much she knew. How could he pretend to even care an ounce for them? If he could kill by just glaring, she would be three feet under by now. Then his face smoothed out as he answered.

"We both lied. You kept your elven heritage from me and I didn't tell you who I was."

She crossed her arms. Where was he going with this?

"As you said before, for Etheana's sake, I wish for you two to be safe."

"Still doesn't answer why you would…" she interjected. Why couldn't he be straight forward sometimes?

"Why do I need to explain to you, you of all people, that I care for a daughter who I might add was deliberately kept from me?" That stung. She flinched when he raised his voice towards the end. Sighing in frustration he pinched the bridge of his nose. Etheana, however, started to squirm and scrunch up her face. She was scared, Senja controlled her urge to slap Ulfric by taking a deep breath and then stretched out her arms.

"You scared her, let me…" He seemed reluctant to let go of Etheana, but as her wails intensified, he hesitantly handed her over. Rocking her, she tugged the Talos amulet out and dangled it in front of the baby's face. It took a moment and then Etheana was engrossed in the strange object in front of her face.

"You kept it?" He sounded startled, almost… wistful. She bit her lip.

"Yes, I did. Reminded me of _happier_ times," she bit back.

"Senja, you need to consider this. The Empire and by extension the Thalmor know about you two, now. I cannot even think about what they will do to her and you," when had he stepped so close to her. She had to crane her neck to look him in the eye and she was not small either. His hands were on her shoulders now. Her chest constricted. No, this was wrong. How dare he be so familiar after leaving her to her own devices for months! WITH A BABY! Which he knew about too! Looking down, she stared at his boots, the inner fur lining poking out at the top. What was she to do? She was just one woman against the world it seemed.

"Ulfric, let's say you are right. I will become a Thane and will be under your protection. What then?"

He frowned.

"What do you mean? What then?"

"Aye, what after? What do we tell Etheana once she is older? Do you plan on ever acknowledging her? What about me? Will I be cooped up in the palace until I am old and grey, always the mother of your bastard?"

"That what this is all about, Senja?" Oh no, he just did not say that. Swallowing hard, her nostrils flared, her eyes flitted to the side. The drop was too great to jump down, she knew that. But… she was no glorified whore!

"Is it?!" He sneered now, his hands now shaking her slightly.

"Yes! How can you spit on my parents and then pretend to give a shite about us?!"

"By Shor's bones, woman. This is the best way to make sure you are safe!"

"Oh no no, this is all about the rebellion! You don't want us as weaknesses! That is why you won't even acknowledge her or me!" His hands started to dig painfully into her shoulders now.

"Don't you dare accuse me of apathy! I fight this war for your freedom, for hers!"

"And then? No one will accept me as your wife!"

"Skyrim will be free, free for everyone. You know why I fight for this war!"

"Oh, for freedom, sure! Skyrim for the Nords? Hah, do you plan on evicting every other race?"

"Have you become mad?"

"No, you made yourself clear before."

"How am I supposed to react when I find out that you were half elf? We both lied to each other."

"Brilliant deduction. Now is this a contest whose lie is worse?"

"Stop, breathe…"

"No."

"No," his eyes levelled with hers holding the eye contact. His hands were on her cheeks now, holding her head in place, his forehead touching hers.

"Breathe. Focus on me." She could not get free, his grip was too strong and with Etheana in her arms, she could not fight. Trapped. Her breaths were short, fast and his face started to blur.

"Breathe," he said again. This time… it felt like he was talking under water. She held his stare, then breathed out slowly.

"Yes, good," he encouraged. Another deep breath and her vision focused again.

"Now think, do you really I would not acknowledge her and you?"

"But you were so disgusted with me being elven."

"You lied to me."

"So did you."

"I know, but Etheana does not need this." She only nodded, her throat closed up. A new start for them?

"We will not know the future if we don't try and by Talos, I want you two in my life. I have summoned you so many times, believe me." Now she felt ashamed. He had tried and she had spurned him out of wounded pride. She squeezed her eyes shut, for she could not look into his eyes any longer. They had made so many mistakes.

"Look at me," a thumb brushed her cheek, leaving a tingling sensation on its path. Damn the man, damn her body for responding.

"Do you really think running away will solve this problem?"

"No… Not if the Empire knows."

"Yes, please for Etheana's and your own sake." Never had she heard him plead. Biting her lip hard, she slowly opened her eyes again. What was she to do? Nurelion had offered her a home, meals and a purpose.

"I have work, Ulfric. I cannot leave Nurelion… I owe him too much."

"I will talk to him," it sounded reassuring.

"As a Thane, what will be my duties?"

"Your duties will be to serve the hold."

"Vague."

"You will train alongside with me. Your place will be at my side during battles." Back to being a soldier. Now she looked down to Etheana who mercifully had not stirred again.

"You will be required to attend court. Provide council on matters. Once the war is over, I need you to bridge the gap between men and mer."

"Now you care? After so long of neglecting our needs?"

"I…"

"The Dunmer are terrorised by bandits just outside of Windhlem. I can't protect them from that!"

"We are at war, I cannot spare the men!"

"I get that, but something needs to be done."

"What do you propose?"

"I will be their representative." She was met with silence and she observed worriedly how his face did not betray any change.

"You wish to represent them in court?" He sounded so disbelieving.

"As far as my duty as a Thane will allow it," she gave him a tentative smile. His mouth opened a bit, then was closed. His throat bobbed up and down from the hard swallow.

"So you accept?"

"For Etheana. Us… I am willing to try." His thumbs stopped, his eyes boring into hers as if to see if she was tricking him.

"So you agree?"

"Yes." He smiled, a true smile. One that reached his eyes, wrinkling the skin around them. This time he broke eye contact, though only to kiss her forehead. Lingering there. She would be lying if she hadn't missed this. The intimacy. The bond she initially thought they had. By Auriel, she had been dreaming about freeing Skyrim by his side! Never would she have thought it would be at their leader's side.

He cautiously laid an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer to him. She turned slightly, so Etheana was not squeezed between them. His other hand was hovering slightly over Etheana, only looking at her.

"She's… so small." What? Laughter bubbled in her throat and she had to pinch her lips together. Where was this coming from? Then she couldn't contain herself and giggled.

"Of course she is small, she has only seen one summer," she explained, leaning her head against his shoulder. The snowflakes had stopped falling. No storm then, she had been wrong. Not that she was unhappy about that.

"We should go back. I will be missed soon."

"Aye, you know where you can find me."

"You will be receiving the title of Thane now. Accompany me to the table and I will give you the title."

"Isn't that a bit obvious?"

"You saved my life in Helgen and after, it is the least that could be done to honour you."

She looked down to Etheana again. Oh little one, things might be looking up for them.

"Lead the way, my Jarl."


End file.
